i just had a shower and now smell of soap. i'm venturing to manchester tomorrow, current home of the boy two blogs down. it's a big place, so i shouldn't have awkward meetings. i'm not talking to my nan, which i'm not to happy about. she's accused me of a lot of ludacris things that are entirely untrue, and not listening to a word she says. everyone keeps saying "shouldn't you go see your nan" and "just think about all the things she's done for you", and i am grateful for the things she's done, but i'm going start talking to her on my own terms, not anyone elses. and now just isn't the right time.
BOOM hat, Rubix Cube keyring, Godzilla poster i stole from my media teacher, glassesBOOM, package to be sent to calum when i have £1, pink nintendo ds with stickers on the front, lipbalm that was in teenVOGUE, cockacino? thing igoe made for me out of a coffee cup :], edward scissorhands voodoo doll thing, teeth lolly, mystery postcard/package, copious amounts of blu-tac, train ticket from the uncliche gathering, a pen i stole from my best friend, japanese luck cat, babyfurby, example of my music tastes (what is echo, tom milsom, FFAF, bjork.), hairdryer, mickey mouse baseball, me as a baby in polaroid format, a chris ^___^, my passport, GOBAMA! tshirt i made for the presidential election, insanely huge pikachu, some studio ghibli awesomeness, GOBAMA! paper, strawberry shortcake doll with lipgloss in her hat, keys to my nans house, ginger chris incredibly drunk wearing a pink hello kitty headband, festinho postcard, birthday girl badge that i broke, alarm clock that ticks so loudly it keeps me awake at night, a watch i need to give back to my bailey, postcard that tino made at youstage, failurecollegepass, yoshi teddy ryan bought me before he moved away, pictures from youstage, mightybooshLIVE poster :], incredibly out of tune guitar which only gives me the ability to play smoke on the water, a bowl full of sunflower seeds that i'm addicted to, a picture of my mum and dad on their wedding night, happypots makes for a happyBOOM, jack skellington my nan bought me for passing my gcses, OMGOSH HAMLET WAS AMAZING, signed things from seeing Russel Howard (i lost my phone that day, boo.), Dario Fo playbook that i possibly took from college ^_____^, teenagemutantHEROturtles wallet, macrolensss, tube map that got me to the london eye with doctorbenjy, blackxs perfume bought for me by my lodger, my mums wedding ring on a tacky gold chain that i never take off unless i'm doing sport; sleeping or showering.
you came online at the same time as i found all the old letters you wrote and pictures you made and the screenshots of msn conversations and the photos of you and the voice clips you sent and where we first met and the songs that we listened to for hours on end and the sound files we made for msn and i refused to admit that i ever loved you.
shit the bed. i just realised. i have a youtube crush. FAILFAILFAIL FAIL FAIL FAILFAIL FAILFAIL FAILFAIL FAILFAILFAILFAILFAIL FAILFAILFAILFAILFAILFAIL FAILFAIL FAILFAIL FAIL
i've located a craving for gingerbread men and turkish delight, like i used to have at christmas when grandad was still alive. i want catherine and andrew to be happier and i want rich to find a boy who loves him, so then we can go out and have a veggie delight to celebrate. i want time to stand still so i can fully assess what's going on in my life. i want a house full of toys and pretty things. i want my heart to introduce itself to my head and share it's thoughts with my feelings. i want to read an amazing book that makes me think about life. i want to make a film that makes people cry. i want a holga, a hdvcam, patience, polaroids, and timekeeping.
today i missed the first cu nxt wednesday meeting, so i'm rather sad. i was really looking forward to it and i don't want tom to be annoyed with me. i've found a girl called joanna, who is amazingly creative. i love how she writes and draws, and it makes me pretty jealous :] i have a job now, i'm the presenter for telford rocks. they want me to 'rock' my look up, so i'm having a haircut and going back to my older teenage roots. i've been listening to amanda palmer, the medic droid, a fine frenzy, nevershoutnever, owl city, bring me the horizon and bjork this morning. my neighbours must be questioning my tastes.
i miss my camera, i want to start taking photos again but writing and drawing seems to have come back with a vengance. i seem to have reverted back to childhood as well. i've developed cravings for sugar mice, dolls houses and my old dolls. the godzilla poster seems happy in my room, it looks much prettier here than in the media classroom; which is understandable, because of the size of the windows made it look tiny.
i just had a shower and now smell of soap.
how am i the only one who finds this bloody hilarious?
