i know it's bad, but

sometimes i like it when people emo out on me, because then i can write things, and take things that they say, and then the lines become verses, and then the verses become songs, and then the songs become a monument to how other people felt at times in their lives when they experienced intense moments of emotion, so much so that they were unable to contain it.
i like being the person to capture that <3

new years ideas

i don't do 'resolutions' because i don't see why i should wait for one point in the year to decide to change something about myself.
instead i list all of the things i want to do in the new year.

this year i want to:
get my nose peirced
host a gathering
finish heterocera
get a holga
go to ireland
get into uni
buy a decent video camera
lose weight
make a photowall
sort out work
have a cake baking day
cut my own hair
keep in touch with catherine

there was a young girl called georgie,
who had a rather peculiar corgi,
he lived in the closet,
and was washed with a faucet,
cos he was a fucking dog.

grr

ok, so after going to bed hideously late and having a lovely dream i wake up this morning ill.
WAT.
this cannot be happening.
i'm confined to my bedroom whilst the family are downstairs playing the wii and watching films and ting.
not a happy bunny to say the least.
if i'm not well by new years i may cry.

also:
we have insane amounts of cheese in my house, ian should be jealous ^________^

i wish i had these tights

in all honesty, i never in my life imagined myself liking things like this. less than two years ago i was what i considered to be 'hardcore'. i only listened to grindcore and screamo, i wore far too much eyeliner, my wardrobe was full of black and neon and i straightened and back combed my hair every day. for some reason i felt the need to conform to something to feel included.i wouldn't say it's just college that has changed me, but i love how my tastes now span entirely different genres. in the past half an hour i've listened to classical, electro, comedy, indie, japanese pop, grindcore, 8bit, musical and hip hop music. and i love it. though i doubt people at uni will appreciate it :\
when my mum asked me to write out my christmas list, i seriously suprised myself with the things is was choosing. before, i would've asked for a million different albums that all sounded the same, and i'm comfortable admitting that now. i have no idea how my family put up with me when all they could hear from my room was "KJFSHENOIRJGPOERKJTOPEKRF!!!!" i doubt work will like what i like now, considering i work for Telford ROCKS but they'll have to put up with it ^_____^
i like liking prettier things,(shallow as this reason is) i can afford much more now. i can see how awkward i was, only wanting black or dark jeans, and only tshirts that i liked, and only things from certain shops. now i shop, wear and listen to wherever i want, and i'm much happier for it.

someone at college said that i was only changing myself because i'm going to uni next year, and i want to conform to what i think are people's expectations of me. that's total and complete bullshit. i'm not intentionally changing myself, it's just a natural shift in myself. it cannot be helped and shouldn't be ridiculed. i LIKE the look on people's faces when i know that they're listening to carnifex or whitechapel, because they don't expect it of me.

do i really look like a person who would conform to someone elses expectations? i am my own person, and i like who i am. it's taken me a long time to find who i am, so i wish people would appreciate me. and i wish i had those tights.

Jamie Bell-oh-ell

i may have had a slight crush on jamie bell since i saw billy elliot, but all chances of that continuing have been destroyed by seeing this picture.

merry it'snotchristmasanymore

now excuse me whilst i go and play professor layton <3