it's quarter past three and i'm in the lrc, i'm the only one in here so it's safe to write this. there's a lot of work i should be doing for performing arts and media, but frankly i don't want to do it.
it's a hideous feeling knowing i'm failing my courses and probably won't get to uni next year, but its equally hideous knowing that if i do buck up my ideas then next year i'll be leaving my home, my room, my nan, my family, richard, stirchley grange, EVERYTHING.
rich came into the lrc about half an hour ago and now i feel terrible. he was really happy, saying that this has been the best week of his life so far. the choices page for ucas was up and i had to tell him that i'm not taking a gap year anymore, then he pulled this face and said "it's only the start of the year and we're talking about you leaving me next year, we shouldn't be doing this."
FUCK'D IT.
reading or bucks? reading or bucks? reading or bucks? reading or bucks? reading or bucks? reading or bucks? reading or bucks? reading or bucks? reading or bucks? reading or bucks?
i don't know what to do for uni, either. i mean if i only get MMM in performing arts, and a B for media like i'm supposed to then i get about 340 ucas points.
i'll fly into uni.
that's the problem, though. i don't want to. i want to barely get enought points to get into my top choice and then have to go for my backup. then i wouldn't have to make all these decisions. all my life i've only wanted to do performing arts, and now that's changed i've got to make my mind up on a lot of important things.
and that's the one thing i seriously cannot do. /srs bsnss
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